As I was walking down the street

One dark and dreary day,

I came upon a billboard,

And much to my dismay,


The sign was torn and tattered

From the storm the night before.

The wind and rain had done its share

For this is what I saw:


Drink Coca Cola Cigarettes!

Chew Wrigley Spearmint Beer!

Ken-L-Ration dog food

Makes your wife's complexion clear!


Simonize your baby

With a Hershey's candy bar!

And Texaco's the beauty cream

That's used by all the stars!


So, take your next vacation

In a brand-new Frigidaire!

Learn to play the piano

In your Granny's underwear!


Doctors say that babies

Should smoke 'till they are three!

And people over 65

Should bathe in Lipton Tea!


...With flow-through tea bags!